Relationships are not simple, they are quite the opposite, they are complicated and ever changing and that is why they need time and energy to develop. Great relationships have one thing in common and that is the bond that is created through good communication. Another great way to improve the quality of communication and feeling of closeness in a relationship is the so-called ‘love languages,’ which is a set of theories that explain how people can give and receive love in the best possible way for both partners. This understanding can go a long way in enhancing the emotional health of any relationship and thus create better ties and enhance the happiness of the two people involved.
Why Love Languages Matter
Love languages are ways that help to understand how one person can express love and how the other person can receive it. It is, therefore, imperative that couples learn how to speak each other’s love language and how to meet each other’s love language needs in order to strengthen their love bond and improve their communication. This is where love languages come in to play an important role in the happiness of the couple as they help in making the partner feel appreciated.
How to Improve the Intimacy Through Love Languages
Love languages too have an impact on the physical and emotional aspects that are an important part of any relationship. Because those who know their partners’ love languages will be more likely to develop satisfying and intimate relationships. For instance, one can be intimate through touching, whereas another may feel intimate by spending time together and thus they can seek new ways of spending their time alone together.
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What Are Love Languages?
In his book The Five Love Languages: Dr. Gary Chapman in his book: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate, popularized the concept of ‘Love Languages’. Chapman shares that people have five kinds of love language, which means the ways through which people can express and receive love. It is crucial that both you and your partner know each other’s love language so that both of you feel loved, esteemed, and valued.
The five love languages are:The five love languages are:
1. Words of Affirmation
2. Acts of Service
3. Receiving Gifts
4. Quality Time
5. Physical Touch
Everyone has one or two ways of feeling loved that suit him or her most, known as love languages. Now let us dissect these languages and see how they help in the development of a healthy relationship.
1. Words of Affirmation
The words of affirmation are the foremost way of expressing love, admiration and support for the people who speak this language. When you give them appreciation, assistance and be compassionate towards them, they get the feeling of being loved. For such people, one can use positive affirmations such as ‘I love you’, ‘You make me happy’, or ‘I am proud of you’.
How It Enhances Relationships:
• Boosts Confidence: Affirming your partner regularly is one of the best ways of making them appreciate you.
• Builds Emotional Intimacy: It is evidenced that positive affirmations can strengthen the bond between the partners, which consequently leads to increased security in the relationship.
2. Acts of Service
For the people whose love language is acts of service, action speak louder than words. This makes them feel love when one makes an effort of assisting them in any way whether in doing the dishes or running errands, or even fixing something in the house. Service is a way of making someone feel special out of the many things one can do for their partner; It indicates that you are aware of your partner’s needs.
How It Enhances Relationships:
• Demonstrates Care: It’s the little things that can tell your partner that you care about their well-being.
• Reduces Stress: Volunteering in the activities that your partner does will in turn help to ease the burden as far as workload is concerned and hence making them feel valued.
3. Receiving Gifts
It’s not about the material things; for some people, it’s the effort made in the giving. For those people who appreciate the gift giving, one has to make sure that they are giving them something they will love and cherish for instance giving them their favorite food or a gift that tells them that you know them very well.
How It Enhances Relationships:
• Symbolizes Thoughtfulness: It is an indiction of one’s appreciation of the partner’s needs and wants in life.
• Creates Lasting Memories: Some of the functions of gifts include; being able to give people physical memories of the time they have spent together.
4. Quality Time
To be precise, quality time is the language of the heart for such a person and to love him or her fully, one must give quality time. It is most important for them to feel the loved when the partner is giving them his or her full attention, either through talking or through engaging in other activities without any interference.
How It Enhances Relationships:
• Deepens Connection: This makes the partners feel closer and create a strong bond between them since quality time was spent together.
• Encourages Mutual Understanding: This way, they are able to spend some quality time together without being distracted and this enhances their understanding.
5. Physical Touch
Touch is a form of love and intimacy that is very important to those who speak the language of love through touch. Love and affection are expressed through touching, such as hugging, kissing, hand holding or just cuddling up to one another in a more natural way.
How It Enhances Relationships:
• Increases Emotional Closeness: Closeness is another aspect that physical touch can create in the relationship to make one feels secured.
• Promotes Intimacy: Physical touch on a frequent basis is beneficial to the emotional and physical closeness of the relationship thus the bond between partners is strengthened.
Identifying Your Love Language
With that, it is imperative to be aware of one’s love language and the love language of their partner so as to foster a healthier relationship. Society has dubbed this as ‘companionate love,’ where people tend to express love in the manner in which they want to be loved but this may not be what their partner wants. For instance, if you are more of a physical person and your partner is a verbal person; you will be touching him/her a lot to show your affection while he/she will be expecting you to say those three magical words very often.
You can both take Dr. Gary Chapman’s love language quiz or you can figure out what makes each other feel loved and appreciated.
Using Love Languages: For Your Relationship
Once you are well aware of each other’s love language, then it is important to integrate them into your daily life. Here are some tips on how to make love languages work for you:Here are some tips on how to make love languages work for you:
1. Communicate Openly: Tell your partner what you want from him or her to make you feel loved and appreciated. Tell them how they can get on your good side or what makes you tick or even what pushes your buttons.
2. Be Intentional: Try to show your affection to your partner in a way that he/she understands best even if it is not the same way you receive love. This tells you that you are willing to meet his or her needs as a customer.
3. Balance Both Languages: You should also learn how to express your love adequately as too much of it is not a good thing. As you try to meet your partner’s love language needs, make sure to also get them to meet yours in one way or another.
4. Practice Patience: People may need some time to get used to expressing love in the new ways that they have learnt. Try to be more understanding of each other as you both get to know how to express your feelings towards one another.
Conclusion
Knowing and using the love languages is one of the best ways of enhancing the love between the two of you and your partner. Thus, the given way to express love helps to build a stronger and more harmonious partnership that satisfies both partners’ needs. If you and your partner have different love languages, that means words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, spending quality time, or physical touch, trying to recognize and speak the language of love will benefit you both and enhance the relationship.